1st Childbirth Class

Just a few notes about our first childbirth class.

1. We did actually learn quite a few things.

2. When you introduce yourself, don't say that one of your favorite things about pregnancy is all of the attention that you get because God blessed with you a small belly. You should watch yourself, you just p*ssed off all of the other pregnant women in the class.

3. It's not that quite funny to everyone else in the room when you talk about how your husband has gained more weight than you during the pregnancy (whereas you have only gained 20 pounds) and we can't even tell you are pregnant sweetie! Take a look at the rest of us! We have swollen basketballs underneath of our shirts and don't want to talk about weight gain.

4. When you are married to a funny person, you know there are going to be comments during the "breathing and relaxation" moments. All of the lights dimmed low, relaxing music, eyes closed...and my husband whispers in my ear.."Wouldn't it be hysterical if someone....(fill in the blank)...right now?" As the two of us try to stifle our laughter and get the angry eyes from the couples next to us.

5. This goes to a certain couple: This is a childbirth class. There is no need to dress up like you are going to a club in NYC. That means no zebra print shoes and shoes that have zippers coming up the side. No one cares how you look. Again...take a look at the rest of us: Do we look like we are enjoying ourselves?

6. Cookies and juice for a snack: Gone in 60 seconds.

7. Way to choose a location that only has 2 bathrooms. Yes...2 and one of them is a men's restroom. And they also happen to be a mile down the hallway. Break time = 20 women waiting in line to use the one restroom that is available after it took them 15 minutes to walk to. Grr...

8. Last but not least (for now...until I think of other things that happened during our class...) Is it really necessary to show us a live childbirth on our first class? I thought you saved that for last? Way to get the men back for the next class!!